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All posts for the month January, 2016

Of Snow and Shopping Lists

Published January 30, 2016 by Christa the Cupcake

Another week! A quick thing I’d like to mention is that this week (from last Saturday to today) I walked more than 10 MILES. It seems small when I type it out (or maybe that’s just me) but considering that uncomfortably recently I was literally moving around as little as I possibly could, 10 miles feels like a lot! And I say more than because on Tuesday I have no idea how much I walked because my phone (where I track this stuff) turned itself off and I didn’t realize it, so nothing got tracked. Also because I’m not counting general walking around like at the store or wherever, this is just in the time I’m sitting aside just for walking.

Anyway!

Once we get this all this snow over with, I have some shopping to do. I try not to go out much before a snow storm (or even the threat of a snow storm) because there are always 50 million people stocking up for the winter apocalypse at all of the stores. Also people seem to forget how to drive.

snow overreact

Nothing I need to get is an emergency and I can totally get by without it until I can go shopping without worrying about my safety. I just want to get some different weights because the ones I have now are 5 pounds but they feel unnecessarily big, like just badly designed. It might just be because my hands are so small. Actually its almost definitely because my hands are so small. But I want to get ones that feel more comfortable when I hold them. And I want to get a yoga mat because doing yoga on the concrete basement floor is more difficult than I thought. And I want to get a scale. Once upon a time, I wrote a post about buying a scale but I never bought it. I wrote that post almost TWO YEARS AGO.
Last but not least I want to buy a few snacks that I won’t feel bad about eating, like some almonds or something.

So this post is short but I’ll be back next week! Enjoy your snow days if you’re in the Danger Zone!

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We Meet Again

Published January 23, 2016 by Christa the Cupcake

Its been 18 days since I woke up.

Not literally, of course. Figuratively.

First of all, I want to say that I thought long and hard about whether or not I was going to come back to this blog in the first place. It hasn’t been updated in about a year. I had to think about it because I didn’t see any point updating it if I wasn’t going to stay serious.¬† But today I decided I would come back and continue this blog since I haven’t lost momentum. I feel like I can update this blog as long as I stay committed to updating myself.

Now, you often hear people say something like “Well, I just fell off the wagon.”
I didn’t simply fall off the wagon. I jumped. I dived off that wagon headfirst into a sea of soda, junk food, and shame. And that’s where I’ve been living for over a year.

At first, I was perfectly content. For several months in fact. Then, occasional feelings of doubt and shame poked at me, but I got rid of them quickly. Over time, those feelings escalated, until eventually they blossomed into full-blown disgust and complete unhappiness. But by the time that happened, I was on an island in the middle of that gross ocean I had jumped into and I had no idea how to get back to shore.

I felt 100% lost.

I talked to my fiance who is consistently there for me, but talking didn’t help. Being able to verbalize how I felt¬†was good for my mental state, but it didn’t get me any closer to taking action I needed to take.

Suddenly, or so it felt, it was the week after New Years Day of 2016. This year, for the first time that I can remember, I made no Resolution. I didn’t see the point in laying out a plan for something when I felt powerless to shape my life in any way. It would be like every other year, where I set a goal and then give up. For tradition’s sake I said vaguely that I’d like to better myself this year.

Then there I was, standing in the kitchen, looking at some of the things I had purchased during the month of December: A 24-can case of Dr. Pepper, a whole box of packages of ramen noodles, a big box of Cosmic Brownies, and a party-size bag of cheddar-sour cream potato chips.

And I thought, You don’t have to do this. This doesn’t have to be your life.

And then I thought, It won’t be very hard. You don’t have to work very hard to do better than you’re doing now.

Seriously, I could have walked 10 feet and it would have been an improvement. I’m only exaggerating a little here, that’s how bad I had gotten.

So that was 18 days ago. And I’ve started with baby steps, but its amazing how much better I already feel. I’m still not eating like I want, but I’m working on it. I’m still not exercising as much as I like, but I’m working on that too. I’ve been lifting weights daily for about a week and a half now, and I’ve discovered that I love it. And today, in addition to the weights, I also walked over a mile.

Screenshot_2016-01-23-21-28-53

So here I am. And here I plan to stay. I’ll post again next week!